I just changed my mind. After reading two of the almost-posts I decided that all they contained was random chatter about my mileage. What I plan to write tonight and in the next few days and weeks will cover whatever I didn't finish in the past. So here comes the one post that I thought might mean something.
so busy i can't find time to feel...I feel like what I started to write here still applies. My life seems full. Even more has happened since I began to write this post.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
2 miles20:3075 degreesSo I although it has been a really long time since my last post, I promise I have been running. The reason for my lack of writing is not related to a lack of running, but a lack of time. Out of nowhere it seems, I somehow have an active social life again. Last week alone I had dinner plans or going out plans or Glee watching plans with different sets of friends almost every night of the week. I was so... occupied.
I am hesitant to say that I am happy. I cannot say that packing my free time so much that I do not have free time really means that I have a satisfying life, but if faking it for a while means that eventually it will feel like my life makes sense again, then this is a good thing. Probably.
Even though I am still feeling very cynical about life right now, I am starting to actually enjoy living it again...
I wanted to use Pheidippides to write about my faith as well as running and my life. Now I am so involved in my church in such a deep and meaningful way. I joined a group of people at my church on a mission to bring the Gospel to the University of Arizona campus. Now I am starting to spend time every week with this community of families and individuals who, like me, want to impact the students in our city and hope to live this out through our faith in God. I feel truly blessed to be a part of it and I hope that my life starts to feel full once again.
I am also maintaining connections with friends through regular meetups at happy hours after work, dinner dates, and Glee watching parties. I just love Glee, and I love my friends.
As for running, I am still doing that, too, don't you worry! I actually decided a few weeks back that I would run the Tucson Half-Marathon in December of this year. I have been running four days a week on a training schedule to prepare for the race. I am so happy about this because it has been prayer that has gotten me through my longest runs, and it has been prayer that has enabled me to run after ten hour days of work when I want nothing more than to do absolutely nothing.
I titled my unfinished post "so busy i can't find time to feel" because I felt exactly that. I was busy for the sake of being busy. Beneith my social calendar I was still hurting, angry, sad... I had not gotten to that part of my thoughts before something inevitably distracted me enough to abandon Pheidippides for the night. But I wanted to include those thoughts in this post because I still feel a portion of that pain. I am still hurting, angry, sad, lost, confused, and lonely. Things are changing, hopefully for the better, but I felt that was an important note to include.
There is so much I want to share tonight, but I will save my inspiration for the coming days to catch the followers of Pheidippides up on my life, my running, and my circumstance.
Thank you for your patience over the last few months of my writer's block. I am excited to jump back in to to this written journey.